January 1. Super FULL MOON Rising
Radical Divine Freedom- ACTIVATED
Start 2018 off with a Big Energetic BanG! Set the tone for a vibrant, focused and energetically elevated year as we step into the New Year and New You with a Super Full moon rising.
To embrace the energy of the evening, I have created a ritual to celebrate the New Year’s full moon. On NYE I am immersed in a flurry of dreaming for the following year asking my soul and heart for guidance and connecting with my inner being of Love. Im writing my intentions, organising pics for my wall and adjusting my digital vision boards. On New Year evening I will soak in the energy of the full moon, extending for the whole day and into the next day.
SO for this year I am starting my 365 photos & gratitude to my divine creator with the theme- Radical Divine -FREEDOM & Adventure and Passion & Joy.
IN THE NAME of Divine Love and Energetic BanG!
Crazy stubborn, free-spirited Veganmite!
IN HONOUR of Being alive!
MAY YOU BE BLESSED MAY YOU BE HAPPY, MAY YOU BE FREE
Lets rock this next Epic year!
DAY 2 JOY and Blast and Self
So for the last few days i have been taking good care of me, and during the night my Angel team as supporting this, as im more relaxed and open. But i must admit these changes work against my mind, my beautiful mind. I have come to a stage where the higher energies entering my vessel tend to get me out of my mind, and into a space of unable to work on my to-do list or even just remember which chores to do and when. I seek guidance and am reassured this is normal and to go with the flow. Im blessed with each step I take. I walk in confusion and an unknowingness that makes me uncomfortable and restless. I seek greater connection with my creator, right now, as i have been filling myself with joy and play, as i mediate i dont feel that connected...as if i have been abandoned. But I find new things and immerse in those, as the new year enters
Day 3 . Daily Ocean fils the soul
Im creating a soul nourishing practice and returning to my old threads of existence, that keep my joyful and wanting to be here in the now. I have started my exercise routine again, and im feeing great. Missing a day, i feel out of sorts at the end of the day and wonder what happened. I have written and rewritten all my intentions. I have simplified and narrowed down my goals into manageable snippets i can mange. Right now thats only one per section of my life. Im feeling different symptoms and energies coming through, and have decided to simplify rather than go for big monstrous goals and dreams. And this feels lazy and this feels down and dark. And i allow love to dissolve all of this. I remind myself to consciously breath and relax and centre into my heart. Im blessed by the heartbeat within my chest, for each beat of the drum allows me to feel all the humanness of being in a body.
I have discovered a new series show. I have not been one to indulge in television. I dont feel the need or the distraction from doing other things. But so some reason i am allowing myself this indulgence. I feel deep confusion within myself, my physical body, heart, mind soul. i dont know what to trust, believe, some awareness that nothing matters anymore. Im feeling like im sinking into a self inflicted sadness, because im totally confused, beyond what i admit to. My mind races to things that have occurred in recent times. I had a hard journey and found salvation in my creator. I found a freedom to recreate and Be. and all that slips away as bigger truths and realisations hit me, as i weep in total confusion, as my heart and chest are heavy without pain, but a letting go. This new series is a rope back into this reality, a distraction for now. In my confusion, as my mind makes up untrue stories, as in stuck in a prison, stuck in between. So i find distraction in the mundane and decide to go back to the old. as i lay on the floor wanting the familiar once more and knowing that no longer exists. Im blessed and grateful for vibrant health and wellbeing. Im blessed by each breathe i take. I rest and surrender in between each breathe, seeking to access the infinite source to fill me up with love. i desire to be unpacked i desire to share and contribute the way creator made me, and i feel that free will has greatly lead me astray as i seek to once again be restored or released. Iam found and lost all at once, and it fees so hilarious. Follow your heart Right now im watching funny comedies that make me laugh and escape for just a moment. Choosing to be at peace in the moment free from doing.
I am blessed. Iam joy, Iam peace Iam love Iam that.
Day 5 . ANOTHER distraction
I woke this morn with a picture of a book cover and title. This goes well with my new formula i discovered. So i get distracted by outside things for a bit, like my neighbours coming to pull my weeds. BUT i get it al down and start writing and creating an outline. This project fills good. Yes it does. It also gives a little frustration and confusion when i start to get blocked about getting it a out of me and trying to do too much or fancy it up. I get to visit my favourite cafe. Interestingly the umbrella at the tables say "Ultimate Coffee Experience'. I have great joy in that little adventure. I chat to the staff and escape into my writing as the time ticks away. I get a lot done and that makes me feel good and calm. As im reminded that life is not about doing so much. That you will never get it all done, and really it does not matter what you do. what matters is that you do things, fill your life with things you and experiences you like to do, even things you see as wasting time things, if you love doing them, then its not a waste. Im grateful to have a large list of joy. I dont always follow or do things off that list, but it does remind me of all the little tiny things that i like to do, that i may do during the day and not fully be aware of. Ima grateful for my joy list, Im grateful for pinterest, that allows me to discover new crafts and things. Im blessed to have my senses, my ears to hear with, my eyes to see with, my nose to smell with, my hands to touch with and tongue to taste with. EARS- hear beautiful peaceful relaxing music. Nose- smells yucky petrol from a lawn mower somewhere near, Hands, feel the touch of my soft skin, tongue tastes delicious coffee i enjoy and my eyes, mmmmmm, thank you, allow me to see beauty around me. GRATEFUL for BEing
Blessed hearts and the reasons for my heart being here alive
Im missing my children. im happy they are having fun and a great summer. I only wish for them the greatest highest joy or life and living. But these mumma arms ache to have them hugs and kisses. I ache for a free flowing gentler softer approach to motherhood, one that fits more with my Being self. And as 3 different souls they are, this stye does not work with them all. My eldest is approaching his teen years and pushes and pushes his boundaries, to the point of my personal breaking points. Motherhood is hard and not having them near is harder. Who said motherhood was supposed to make you stronger? Who is writing the new parenthood mentor bible? My soul and being idolises being a free range parent, where the kids can roam free and be all they are....and yet for this world right now this maybe be not the greatest idea. I spend the day going through major stuff and releasing al the places and spaces I have felt that i have not been a great mum or person for that matter. I was so disconnected from my own truths. I have my innate truth and in this world at this time all of that is unsupported. I have moved to a space where i can get closer to that ideal, i can grow our own garden, provide a peaceful nourishing home, invite creative, imaginations of the mind, even give the kids mindfulness and mediative practices for their own wellbeing. Self stagnation still pays here. But day by day, little by little i take pure responsibility for all, and i have taken on to much outside external stimuli. IM Blessed and grateful for within.
Day 7. Another day of self, and im not liking this now
So I have unfortunately taken up a dysfunctional self indulgent practice of staying home and retreating from the world. I un resourcefully have been searching for my inner connection, with the intention of having silent days. I have had my beautiful neighbour boys knocking on the door, most likely looking for jobs to do to earn some pocket money and on this day, i choose not to answer the door. They are good boys full of heart. I just need that space. BUT unfortunately, through my silent days i feel disconnected. I remind myself that im never not connected to the higher force, how breathes life into me. But admittingly, i know just the fact of BEING alive is the most amazing thing and to be content, soft, gentle and loving with myself. I also have this inner fire wanting to contribute more in a different way and give myself a hard time, as i feel im not good enough, worthy enough and that my confidence has been shattered to pieces from this journey called life. We are all family, we are all love. And right now i feel inadequate and powerless. and confused by "we dont matter" "we dont exist" 'the-there's no such thing as the real world, just a lie you've got to rise above", the mind constructs that keep me stuck and delusional in this matrix of illusion-- all these spiritual condolences that are confusing my head. I start to wonder what is real and if im suffering from mental illness and thus i detach from my world. But i give myself space as i know im good a reliance. Searching for that new day. Knowing an in between world. And still not making sense of either, needing to drop all walls and just make this life joyful and peaceful, loving and happy. Longing for my role as mother once more, no matter how hard the days
Day 8 Angels lift me higher, Angels see me and feel me
Last night I felt a strong team of Angels surrounding me, they lifted me higher and higher, a beautiful glow around me. AND I thank then and bless them. My human self is dismantling and tired. I long for a more peaceful loving world, of which i was born for and through extensive trauma ad pain and experiences I have endured, unconsciously, i built so many walls and barriers around me. I searched high and low for answers. I found my peace ad love within, a great connection with my heart, a glow and tranquility that soothes my every breathe. I also am fully aware of a growing desire to check out from the physical aliveness and being of this world. MY team feel and hear me, and they lift me up when i can no longer walk. THANK YOU, i bow to you and love you deeply. I wonder when a time will come that my full self, the one that was gentle soft kind sweet will be able to walk and live and not be over powered by corrupted Beings. They seemed to strong for me, and my empathic nature was ill equiped, and i was far to long a journey as i took on others energies and pains and dramas. I didnt not fully understand for know this. And for now I shelter myself from harsh realities until im more able to deatch and know myself a little better
Day 9 . MAY YOU BE BLESSED MAY YOU BE HAPPY, MAY YOU BE FREE
We are already whole and complete and yet ego, echoes in all the deep dark places that need to be seen and transmuted. I know that i need to lift myself up. I take tiny love in all that i have and all that is given. I judge myself today on all the places where I am ignorant. My soul and younger version of self yearns and desires for community and contribution. I did this so much as a younger version of me, and throughout the years, i did not have self appreciation and love and thus i gave and gave and gave. I gave too much and so much, until i was depleted. And now as i stand, i feel reluctant to initiate anymore. I was the initiator and put my hand up for everything. Now im learning to look after me and my needs first, as i need to, and i dont care if this is selfish, because when i gave and gave, i didnt have a community that supported that. And i could never understand why others didnt contribute as I, it broke me, broke my heart. Im now aware i gave from a depleted state which lead me to resentment and seeing the world through different eyes
I used to bake muffins for the homeless man, i used to run the local playgroup. And yet when i was heavily pregnant with my second child, and holding my toddler child, no-one even gave a seat. With my SO NOW i need to give from my overflow, fill myself up first knowing all my needs are met, as i do so, others are impacted in the right way. AND I am able to share from the overflow, not depletion. I hold my self, Not looking for validation from outside, but lifted and loved from within.
Day 10 Up early with the birds and lone rooster that crows
This morning I am grateful to be up early at 4.30, ready to start a day, a new chapter of walking a more divine grace path. And i know that joy is both feeling ALL of it, the blessing of being human. I choose this day to be centred and present with anything that arises. Slowly I connect and Be and feel the feeling of Being alive. This week is proving rough, but each moment is making me strong within. The morning starts as normal, a quick few doses of coffee healing. Humming to warm up the vocal cords. Breathing in fresh amazing gulps of presence. The day before my whole vocal box & chest packed it in, in preparation for an interview that will lead me and my soul into greater presence and humbleness in the world. I fleetingly wondered if i was picking up a cold or virus, by went to bed to rest and the next day after a soft gentle start. My voice returned, abling me to show up and come through and use my body as the vessel for Divine Love, and as would have it, after my interview my voice box and chest packed it in once again. Divinely, no mistakes....for my good, able to show up at the right time, for the presence of spirit, Then able to indulge in a release of emotions, ancient, suppressed stored within my body. Yet again gentle and FREE to have this space, as well as not judge myself on what Im going through. AND tomorrow is a new day, another day to love and play and create, as i wait for my inner innovator, my inner creator to direct and love. And as i go through this deep release I realise, i have not had a break for 12 years from my 3 children, and so i abandon the wanting to judge myself for looking after me right now. I feel a larger presence around me and bigger team on hand to help and assist. I reassure my Angelteam I am ok. First time alone for so long and trying to hide and hold it all together so not to show the children. My time to safely release.....my time to safely recreate me in a stronger, bolder, courageous me. AS I anchor in my greater WHYs, as i gently take time for me. ..... and no i remind my ego, no this is not indulgent, this is essential to get through. Anchor in more love and compassion. IM BLESSED and grateful to the team holding out the hands to me as i look like in falling.
Day 11 . Unfolding for my Soul.
Im blessed and grateful to be coming back to my heart. The journey has been long and made harder by my own strong rebellious ego. This has included not using what God made me as, the gifts in my soul. On the edge, stepping more into authentic each day, and giving back the way creator made me. NOT just as a vocation, but in every day life, even just daily functions and duties. Change is inevitable, hard to stay stagnant.
IM THANKFUL for the very breathe of life breathed into me each moment.
Thank you for an amazing sleep-in today Universe, i obviously needed it for recharge and healing.
Thank you for all my essential needs for survival to be met, thank you for a comfortable bed and shelter that nourishes me so I can be in a nice space to create and serve.
I am blessed to be surrounded by nature, my fur-babies and the love from my children.
I am blessed to walk in the world and know we are all family, we are all love, and Everything around me if perfect
Im blessed and grateful for the very Being that I am, the very existence. Today again i give thanks for Freedom, passion, vitality and walking gently as i go about my day.
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